I've been having these weird dreams lately, where I am forced to choice an ex boyfriend to be with - I'm thinking I need more sleep desperately. Maybe it is my subconscious telling me that I am blessed to have found my husband? Maybe I am too critical of him, when really he doesn't have any of the red flags that I had with my ex's? Maybe as my mother says 'I should be nicer to the boy' (but hey this boy is going to be 30 next year and has slept a full night uninterrupted and gets to do poo's by himself - oh the luxury)...but I digress.
I really want to talk about this weird dream that I've been having. Two of my major ex's pop up and I am forced to choose between the two - and I'm stuck thinking surely, surely I have another option!
Now don't get me wrong, I didn't date boys who were axe murderers, or abusive, or dead beats - I'm sure they have grown into lovely young men with good jobs and beautiful families...but we just weren't headed in the same direction when we were younger.
I had a life plan, I had things I wanted to achieve, heck, I even took a little time out from my now husband to do what I needed to do...before I felt like I could settle down and be a wife and a mummy.
So now that I am a wife and a mummy, why are these past flames popping up in my subconscious?
And should I be glad that, even in my strange dreams where I am given these two options and I can't remember my husband's name or what his face looks like, I know he is the man I want (and even need)?
I wonder, when I wake up, about these gentlemen who I once loved. I wonder where their decisions have taken them, I wonder if they have gotten married and if they have become a Daddy? I think about Facebook stalking them - but then I really don't have the time...between breast feeding, vacuuming, trying to cook a delicious meal, photographing it and blogging about it.
I wonder if I will run I into them on the street - and if they will stop and have a chat? It is unlikely as I have moved away from home...we often run into/ see my husband's ex girlfriends.
In fact, his mum even told me he would have been better matched to one of his ex's - and then my husband spent the car ride home telling me she said it because they were both tall (and I'm short). Maybe she just liked her better because she was Croatian.
Do you have weird dreams? Do you know what dreams mean? Can you help me to stop having these dreams?
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