I just did a search through old blog posts and discovered that my favorite word to use in describing posts that contain a number of unrelated ideas is "random". I have a number of posts titled things like "random brain dump" or "random stuff". I used to blog a lot more about focused, specific things. Apparently I have opinions anymore about anything and am now just using the blog as a public journal to keep track of what's been happening in my life. I think part of the problem is the fact that I don't have a lot of time to sit and think about stuff, I don't have a lot of time to write it out, and some of the stuff I have opinions about has to do with sensitive things like my job and my divorce that I don't want to talk about publicly. Well, things change, and I guess after nearly 8 1/2 years of blogging I should be happy that I still have a few friends out there reading what I write.
The last two weeks have been normal--busy, tiring, and pretty much just the usual controlled chaos of work and school and church stuff. I have been continuing to squeeze in some rides on the exercise bike, and the other day I noticed that it was starting to feel easier and I could actually turn up the intensity a bit more. That was pretty cool--I've rarely ever exercised consistently enough to feel like it had any effect. Even more importantly, now that I've forced myself to do it for a while, I've started to enjoy the feeling of working out and actually look forward to it. This is also a big, new development in my life. I wish I had a little more time to fit in exercise but I will get there some day.
This semester in school is still really kicking my butt. The work isn't that hard, but both my classes have a lot of reading every week and there are a lot of little things to keep track of. I also haven't done as a good a job of cutting out other stuff in my life to make more room for school either; I need to just have more self-control in that area and remind myself that I don't have to do everything or read everything. For most of my life I've had a lot of drive to learn and be involved in things (and sometimes, unhealthily, be involved in everyone's business). I know that going back to school means I need to spend less time on things like blogs and Facebook, but I'm having a hard time just walking away.
And, to finish up, a few random things that make me happy lately:
I like it when I make food that the kids enjoy eating, even when it's just simple stuff like canned alphabet soup and cheese sandwiches. I've always loved food and it just makes me feel really satisfied when we can sit around the table and all have good time together eating and talking.
I feel happy when I get things done and have a productive day. It's nice to have an evening when I get home and dinner and bedtime go smoothly. I love the evenings where we eat dinner, get the kitchen cleaned up, read stories and scriptures, I get the kids in bed, and then have some time to get homework done or get caught up on my budget. I also like days when I get to work and knock some things off my to-do list or resolve a few lingering problems.
The weather is warming up a bit and we've had a lot more sunshine. It's a bit troubling because it's only February and we could use more snow, but I've also been enjoying the chance to just wear a hoodie outside instead of bundling up in my coat.
Yesterday I spent some time hanging out with a few friends from my mission. Two weeks ago I was leaving work at the same time as a friend of mine and we spontaneously decided to go out for dinner together. We've also had lunch together once since then and plan to do it again in the near future. I'm not always very good at having friends and figuring out how to relate to people, but I love it when I have good friends that I can just relax and talk with.
And, finally, I like blogging. Sometimes I get tired from too much drama and hysteria online and feel like I just want to go back to the good old days without so much information and interconnectedness. Most of the time, though, I find more good than bad and am happy to be online. If I'm tired of angst and drama, the best I can do is just not contribute to it myself. My posts might be a little boring but at least they aren't going to go viral any time soon.
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